WOW WHAT HAPPENED TO ME...

As much as it might be hard for you to understand I had a really bad flare.  That is when the Fibromyalgia is really, really bad.  I have spent most of the month in bed daily.  I hate it when life is like that.. but that is the life you have to live if you have Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue...

Only those who have Fibromyalgia will understand this.  I have slept 22 hours a day during this time.  My wife is back home with me and I am so glad for that.

Only a short time and I will be starting at the FFC Clinic in Las Vegas... January 3rd 2011.  I have been told by the clinic web page and many patients that it's at the sixth month that you start feeling like your old self... What ever that is??   We will be moving in June of this next year so I might be able to stay awake for this move.  The move here from Michigan 13 years ago, I slept through most of the packing and loading of the truck.  My wife took me to a hotel and friends helped pack our belongings in a 28' Rider truck.  Deborah drove the whole way from Michigan to Southern Utah.  My son and my service dog was with her.  I flew in a plane and was here about four days faster.

Well I will be back now hopefully.  I hate when I miss writing, but then the most important time will be when I am being treated by the Clinic.  I know that many are watching to see how I do... I have had this for so long, others want to see it work on me before they give it a try.

Wednesday: 

This day was a bad one for me and I spent the whole day in bed.  Pain and grogginess was over whelming this day.  I did get up to eat twice this day because there was no one to bring it to me.  I will be very happy when Deborah gets back from her visit to her folks.  These days I don't even want to stay awake.  I am taking 240mg of Morphine(daily) and still the pain is bad.  I have vicodin to take as needed and many days I need it along with the morphine to be able to stand the pain. 

Thursday:

What a great day! Today is the anniversary of the day that Deborah S Gowman Married me in Phoenix, AZ. It was 33 years ago today and I have been the better because of it. What a wonderful wife I have and what a joy to spend my life with her.

Jerry & Deborah

A little know fact is that 80% or more spouses leave the one that gets chronically ill.  This is a US statistic, it's hard to believe but is true.  My wife has stood beside me even when we and everyone else didn't know much about Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue.  When my family (parents and siblings) abandoned me because they didn't understand my illnesses.   My wife and sons stood beside me and sometimes in front of me to try to let people know that I was really ill.  How people can think that I decided to go to bed for the first 14 months.  I had build a large computer company, we had a wonderful home and I had a great reputation in the community.  They somehow decided that I just stopped working and was playing sick.  I am proud of my wife and sons for standing up for me. 

My father has come to grips with I am sick, he still doesn't understand how it works, but he is now speaking to me again and came to visit this summer.  My siblings still will not return an e-mail or take a phone call.  I am sorry for them.  Since I was diagnosed, both my sons along with three first cousins and a second cousin have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue.  Now we know that it's a decease that can be found in families.  I am willing to do whatever it takes to help them find a cure for this CRUD before it hits my sons and possibly grandchildren.  To those siblings that are full blooded with me they can say I am crazy but they are just as likely to have Fibro/Chronic Fatigue as I do.

TIME SLIPS AWAY

     I can't believe it's Tuesday already.  The weather has been so bad here I have spent the weekend in bed.  My whole body hurts when it's raining and windy.  I have my laptop right at my bed but I didn't even fell like turning that on.  Anyone that has Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue knows what I mean. 

     We are planning our finances to be able to afford the Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Clinic visits starting in January.  We have a budget and I spent some time on that yesterday planning our new budget for 2011.  We have 13.38 left after everything is paid.  We are selling our home to be able to afford this as well.  Rent now is much cheeper than ownership.  We will be renting for seven or eight years.  There are houses for rent not far from here so we won't have to leave the community that we have lived in for almost 13 years.

     Our son and his wife are building a new home clear on the other side of the valley.  It's about 20 miles to their house.  They are only 5 miles away now.  We love to kidnap our grandson for a weekend when we can.  We have not seen much of them this whole year.  They have been so busy building this house.  My son also has worked some really long weeks.  Two weeks ago he worked 77 hours in the first four days.  He took friday off and did some extra sleeping.

     Well I have a few things to do and need to go see a neighbor that is fighting cancer.  Talk to you all later.

ANOTHER NICE SATURDAY

     I had a nice day today.  I didn't do much but it was quiet here, the gal that cleans my house came and got the wash going and the dishes washed in the dishwasher.  Those are two machines that I just can't handle.  It is strange because I did them when I was single, but I just can't deal with them now. 


     My dog and I spent part of the day just laying together and resting.  He loves to just set by me and have me pet him.  I never thought I would love a Dog as much as I do the last two.  Chance was my first service dog.  He trained Chip how to do the job and watch over me.   Chance is gone now but Chip is here to take his place.  When I am tired and don't go to bed he bugs me till I do.  He also is a seizure alert dog and when I had seizures he would lay on top of me and not let me move.  You couldn't move either of them with a bulldozer. 


     My wife will be gone 12 more days... I am able to talk to her anytime I want to but it's not the same.  I am glad she could go visit her parents but I miss her.  We will have an anniversery on the 28th and it's been 33 years.   Any woman who could put up with me that long deserves a metal.  Well I did get her something gold... with diamonds and a Perl.  She loves the ring and has wanted one for a while.  They go with her ear rings and necklace.  A wise man told me to never purchase your wife something for a special occasion that has a cord attached.  She has been getting jewelry for almost every occasion and when we travel we try to pick up something for her.


     Well I am hoping to be feeling up to attending church tomorrow.  I even have a ride, so I am going to cut off for now and get some rest(sleep)...  

I DID IT AGAIN!

     HI:  On Sunday I was feeling better than I have for a while.  I knew I didn't want to over do because I would pay if I did.  I went to church and then out to dinner.  After dinner we stopped by our son's house for an hour.
     Monday I spent the whole day in bed.....   I slept around the clock...(You would think I felt rested when I got up on Tuesday but it was not to be....)
     Tuesday I had a doctor's appointment and we went to Costco to shop for thing I would need while my wife is gone... You know dinners that can be cooked in the Micro.... Wife left Tuesday night for Michigan to visit her parents.
     Wednesday I just bumed around....
     Today is Thurday and I thought it was time to catch this up.   My Aid came in and helped me with my shower, then she put the dishes in the dishwasher and took out the trash for me.  Chip my dog has been by my side this whole week.  It took him about 12 hours to realize that my wife was not coming home... But Dad fed him and that was ok.....